Selection Secrets

Meet one of the men that are changing the way men mate throughout the western world

2007-01-11T15:41:00.000-08:00

Those of you who are signed up to the free Selection Secrets-Tips program will already have been introduced to some of the men making their name and fortune in the PUA movement (Pick Up Artist).

Tyler Durden (known to many simply as TD) is one of them and is also probably a genius when it comes to exploring and explaining how 'social dynamics' work - especially when it comes to how to be the dominant male AND especially when it comes to using it to be successful at seducing women! He has truly awesome ability to put himself in the firing line in order to find out what works and what doesn't.

Now he has started a blog - and you get to see what the guy looks like (till know a pic has been somewhat difficult to find!!) He's the one in the middle. Doesn't look much? Well he is one of the top PUA's in the USA - which means he can get just about any female to go to bed with him.

So be worried. Be very, very, worried - because he is teaching any guy who wants to know how (and can pay!!) just how to do it!

He describes himself somewhat modestly as

" I was born in Ottawa Canada (1979) and majored in philosophy at Queens University. Now live and work in Honolulu Hawaii -- My life consists of managing RSD, writing "The Blueprint", running bootcamps, going to the gym, reading everything under the sun, and a twice-a-week surfing habit."... more HERE (PS you might find his blog somewhat.. er... "off topic" but if you want to get an inside look at what is really going on with these guys then read on..)

Will keep you posted about the upcoming Blueprint - the book version of his PUA training programs. In fact I'll throw in a free bonus on TD's technique of Amog-ing (a proven successful seduction technique) with any purchase of Selection Secrets over the rest of January. Knowing the tricks will help you avoid unwitting seduction (unless its done by someone as skilled as TD himself!)

(PS - if you would like to join up for the free 'how to pick a great guy' -tips program, just click HERE )

technorati tags: love, flirt, flirting, compatibility, cheating, monogamy, soul mate, love astrology, about men, cheating husband, Is he the one, affair, relationship advice, astrology, astrology compatibility, will he marry me,
romance

How To Get a Guy To Notice You - Its Easy When You Know How!

2006-12-08T14:26:00.000-08:00

Francisco Bujan features in the first video. He is a life-coach who specializes "in getting people from where they are to where they want to be". Now, before you rushing off to view any of his other videos, just remember two very very important things:-
1) He is a guy.
2) He is promoting the old - and, if you have read "How To Tell Which Guys Maker Great Mates" you will know - the thoroughly trashed view, that women have to get men to choose them! (He is seeking to sell his services after all - and to show that you need his help. How better to ensure this than to give misinformation and get you headed in the wrong direction so you are lost AND confused!)

Having said that, he does make some value points:
1) Guys are attracted by sex
2) But, creating attraction takes more than just looks. A coming Selection Secrets e-tip covers this in detail when it presents the results of an interview with a PUA and how he can tell if a gal is a hottie - blindfolded!! (You can join the list HERE)

The second video is included because it's a great demo of just what Fransisco is talking about. This gal knows how to flirt! Can you see how she radiates coyness and suggestiveness all at once? Killer stuff, when you know how to pull it off. (Check out these free bonuses that show just how to do this)

Why find out Which Guys Make great Mates?

2006-12-06T14:31:00.000-08:00

As you can see below, there are basically four broad motives for seeking to know "Which Guys Make great Mates":

To break this down into more detail for those of you who find that God is in the details:

For new visitors to the blog, the results presented here are from a quiz done by members of the free "tips and tricks" program run by Selection Secrets. Membership is currently over 3000. If you would also like to join, just click HERE

Would You prefer The €20 or €50 Rejection?

2006-09-30T22:17:00.000-07:00

Does it show that a guy has not got the balls it takes to make a relationship work if he pays someone else to break up with a gal? Well, Bernd Dressler is making plenty of money doing just that .. as the following article shows-

Romance ends when the Terminator Comes Calling

Tony Paterson in Berlin
September 30, 2006

FROM seemingly solid marriages through to quick flings and illicit affairs, a phone call or a knock on the door from Bernd Dressler is guaranteed to kill the romance stone dead.

Three reasons to end the relationship are passed to partners

Hence the growing number of clients for his new "separation agency", which informs unsuspecting spouses and lovers that their partners no longer want them. For those too scared to break the bad news themselves, the 52-year-old former insurance salesman will deliver the bullet with Teutonic efficiency, charging €20 ($34) to do it by phone and from €50 for a "personalised" home visit.

"I am just the messenger," said Mr Dressler, whose Berlin-based business has earned him the nickname the Terminator.

Beginning with a "let's stay friends" arrangement, involving a "sensitive phone call", Mr Dressler offers four different termination packages.

At the deluxe end of the scale he will administer a "personal termination call" which includes a detailed explanation as to why his client has decided to end the relationship. The follow-up service also includes collecting a client's belongings from a former lover's home..... read more HERE

Can You Be Deceived?

2006-09-21T00:26:00.000-07:00

Found this question on Yahoo Answers - posted a week ago. There were some interesting/fun answers. But not much that was helpful!

okay.. ... Any imput on how to tell if a guy is lying to you?

Girls..any advice on that?

Guys...any "secrets" you have about lying to your girls? cummon..please share!!!!!

The first suggestion was:

"If their lips are moving, they are lying." !!!

Obviously this question is part of the bigger question: How to tell which guys make great mates! So lets look at this a bit more seriously!!

Image from "The future is in computer lie detectors"

Do you think you can tell? Well, you can now test your skill HERE.

Some of the people who did this test thought their results showed that they are poor judges of character.

Nettie, from Perth Australia, put it this way: "I was looking at eyes and I only got 5/10 but that doesn't suprise me because I am a shocking judge of character. My first impressions are almost always wrong and I get taken advantage of a lot. I think it's because I don't want people to think I'm a bitch so I'm nice to everyone. Hmmm, maybe time to change my tactics. This site has taught me a lot...."

On the other hand, Neil from Kentuky said: " I'm a notoriously bad judge of character, especially when it comes to the opposite sex, yet I scored 9/10 ..."

What do YOU Think?

How Attractive do You think you are?

2006-09-20T15:35:00.000-07:00

There is some great info to be found in research papers. The trouble is - it can be really hard to read and - as in the case of the research that I got this info from - very long.

All the same, sometimes they have really helpful information. In this case the study found that its not how attractive we are that matters - its how attractive we think we are!

ATTRACTIVENESS, SELF-CONFIDENCE AND
COMMUNICATION BEHAVIOR (or pdf, p36)
Margaret J. Head, Florida State University, 2006

"...The higher an individual’s self-reported self-esteem, the higher the self-assessed communication competency. A similar link was found between attractiveness and communication competency, .....

Individuals with high ratings of attractiveness believed themselves to possess a higher degree of communication competency. The data analysis also revealed a stronglink between self-esteem and attractiveness ratings. As expected, individuals with higher self reported self-esteem believe themselves to be more attractive than individuals with low self reported self-esteem.

The results seem to support this expectation, as almost all individuals with high ratings of self-reported self-esteem believed themselves to be good communicators. In turn, individuals with low self-reported self-esteem believed themselves to be less effective communicators than individuals with high self-reported self-esteem.

The message "show me why I should choose you" is just one of many we need to get right. It looks as if low self esteem may make it difficult for women to be good selectors!

How Seriously Should We Take Heartbreak?

2006-09-19T15:43:00.000-07:00

Your world has just come crashing down and you just can't face the demands of work - or anything else - for a while. How great would it be if you could just phone in and say I need to take a "heartbreak day" and that was accepted as a normal and perfectly acceptable thing to do? Well an inovative lady in Japan has done just that .. check it out -

The Japanese Times, Sunday, Sept. 17, 2006

Heartbreak heaven for staff By Yoko Hani

Miki Hiradate in the Tokyo salon of her market-research firm Hime & Company, whose all-female staff she treats in considerate ways that most women workers in Japan could only dream of. YOSHIAKI MIURA PHOTO

".....Unless you are extremely lucky," says Hiradate, the firm's 37-year-old founder and president, "you will definitely have the experience in your 20s and 30s of being brokenhearted after someone leaves you.

"So, shitsuren kyuka is a [paid] holiday you take when that happens and you feel too devastated to come to the office. I introduced it after I asked young women what they wanted from 'female-friendly companies,' and they suggested these holidays."

"Some people may just call their office and say they're taking a day off because they don't feel well, but in my company the employees can openly say they are taking a shitsuren kyuka. They are not asked anything more.

"You know, when you are brokenhearted, you feel terrible and have red eyes and the condition affects your work performance. I recommend them to come to the office after taking some rest. That's good for the company, too," Hiradate says in an upbeat tone.

As for how much rest a lovelorn lady might be allowed, Hiradate believes that the damage done by breaking up gets more serious the older you become. Consequently, her company grants one day a year off to staff in their early 20s, two days off to those in their late 20s and three days off to thirty somethings. .... more HERE

Do We Need To Find Out What Guys Want?

2006-09-19T06:27:00.000-07:00

In the following article, Do men want hot mamas or the girl next door?, David Zinzcenko examines what guys want -

".....What Makes a Man Fall in Love?

Why we can’t let love in until you’ve shown us the way — and the simple words that can unleash our deepest affections.

Question: Guys, do you believe you’ve met your soul mate?

Yes, I’m with her right now: 53 percent
Yes, but we’re no longer together: 14 percent
Yes, but we were never together as a couple: 9 percent
No: 24 percent

More than three-fourths of men believe in soul mates (see above). And when we asked our guys to choose between meeting the love of their life or having amazing sex for six months, 92 percent chose falling in love. (The other 8 percent were probably Maxim readers.) Consider what these three men said about the experience of falling in love:

“We need to feel love, loyalty, and chemistry above all else,” says Ian, 31.
“Men also feel the butterflies and giddiness that women do when they’re in love,” says Robert, 26.
“Women don’t realize most guys are in love long before they are willing to admit it to anyone,” says Drew, 30.

Getting It Right?

2006-09-18T16:27:00.000-07:00

It always makes me sad to come accross sites like the following. Mainly because I now know that most people don't have to go through it! Ah, well. For those who aren't yet ready to take the "get a great mate" option, the following (fairly predictable) guidelines might help you to get better results if you are trying for the second time round:

Dating: The Second Time Around
By Coulson Duerksen

Statistics show that 75 percent of people who divorce remarry within five years. While that may be good news for many, it's not easy re-entering the dating arena. ....

Three Rules of Dating Re-Entry:

Before you begin to date, you need to take stock. While you don't have to be committed to finding the perfect person before you go on your first after-divorce date, you need to be clear about a few very important aspects of your life. Your re-entry to the dating process will go much more smoothly if you:

Know what you want.....
Make sure you're ready to move on. ...
Don't date for security or comfort. ....

Working Out Your Compatibility

2006-09-17T00:44:00.000-07:00

I found this pretty impressive astrology-compatibility site and I went through a variety of combinations of couples I know, and I have to admit to being impressed with how closely each person and their relationship is described by their compatibility charts. But here's the thing. As accurate as these charts seem to be, they miss out some basics that make all the difference.
The reason astrology charts don't actually succeed in helping us is that they are only useful to use after we narrow the field of guys down in other ways. And this is not that hard to understand. After all, everyone was born sometime! But not every guy would make a great mate. Some have mating strategies that are not in our best interest and others are just plain poor value (even derelicts have birthdays!)... Not very romantic, but...

Here is one combination I found eerily accurate.... Click the link for more star sign combinations.

"Romantic Compatibility ... Aries & Taurus

When Aries and Taurus come together in a love affair, the partnership is a natural union of Love, represented by Taurus, and Passion, represented by Aries. This relationship is all about balance. Aries wants to jump right in and get into it, while Taurus prefers to go much more slowly. This can create a problem; Taurus loves to be wooed and romanced -- two concepts that are basically foreign to straightforward, brash, totally unsubtle Aries. An Aries-Taurus partnership can be a great learning experience for both Signs. Taurus can help Aries rein in some of the more foolish, impractical impulses, and Aries can help Taurus be more spontaneous and adventurous.".... .....more HERE

Is He The Real Deal - Or Not?

2006-09-13T14:44:00.000-07:00

Here is the video of STYLE rated as the number 1 Pick-Up Artist in the USA for 2005. Otherwise known as Neil Stauss.

If, by the end of the video, you feel tempted to go out and buy his book - you will also know that your selector fitness needs work because you have been manipulated - I hate to say - by some very obvious tricks that he uses to get us females, in particular, to be attracted and to trust him.

It also means that you probably need to get How To Tell Which Guys Make Great Mates (see the sidebar)!! If you find him attractive - then don't wait a second longer!!!

technorati tags: love, flirt, flirting, compatibility, cheating, monogamy, soul mate, divorce, about men, cheating husband, Is he the one, affair, relationship advice, alpha male, beta male, will he marry me,
romance

Finally, Love Potions That Work?

2006-09-11T20:49:00.000-07:00

Before people start emailing me like crazy because I have linked to a commercial site - hear me out!

Firstly, although the whole issue of pheromones is covered in How To Tell Which Guys Make Great Mates, and despite the huge and growing numbers of serious academic research on the topic and despite the fact that some of these researchers have been sufficiently impressed by their own research to start marketing their own pheromone products (Scent of Eros, for example, is designed by a famous writer and researcher, and Dr Cutler (another famous researcher renowned for her ground breaking research into female fertility) also has her own secret recipe for a pheromone scent), the site referred to below is NOT particularly accurate in its information. You can get better info elsewhere (including the book)

Secondly, although the research in this area does have serious messages for women who seek to develop their selector skills, there is also a fun side to the topic. The site below is a bit of fun.

Finally, on another site, you can actually get a free sample! Now, its smart to know how to deal with the consequences, right! So before you start splashing yourself with a product that might actually get a strong response from guys - you better know how to deal with it! Whether this particular pheromone works or not I have no idea. But if you want to try it out - set up a proper test. Get friends in on the act (so you don't fool yourself). Do a before and after to check out if there is any difference and avoid using it during the fertile phase of the month (unless you are on the pill - for reasons covered elsewhere in this blog and in the book).

So... read it and enjoy!

Science Has Finally Done It!

It has been well documented that pheromones can trigger powerful romantic responses in men. Unfortunately, evolution has robbed women of the ability to naturally produce sufficient quantities of these pheromones to have a discernible effect on the opposite sex (not true!). The pheromones that women do produce are often destroyed by deodorants and antiperspirants.

Scientists have succeeded in identifying, isolating, and recreating this amazingly powerful pheromone compound. When used even in small amounts, women report astounding results! You will suddenly find yourself being approached by men who will now make eye contact, smile more often, initiate conversations, and will complement you on your "perfume." Men who were standoffish before will now find themselves drawn to you.... read MORE

Research Is Giving Us A New Edge!

2006-09-08T19:12:00.000-07:00

Can you tell the difference between these two photos of the same woman? Well according to the research shown below, men CAN. And the difference matters!

Female facial attractiveness increases
during the fertile phase of the menstrual cycle
"...... Our results indicate that the perceived attractiveness of womens’ faces varies across the menstrual cycle and is higher in the periovulatory than in the luteal phase. …

In addition, this information may be just one of a suite of cues, also including behaviour (e.g. increased flirtatiousness …), odour attractiveness… and, … that may act together to emphasize a woman’s fertile condition … and result in increasing frequency of male-initiated encounters. "

The photo on the left was taken when she was in the fertile phase of her cycle and men rated photos taken at this time of the month (for 45 women) as more attractive.

So...More going on than we are led to believe. What's more other research sheds light on how we women behave differently!! More of that in a later post.

The question I want to ask is: can we use this information to improve how we use make-up?

Now You Can See What Its All About

2006-09-08T18:27:00.000-07:00

The new web site for How To Tell Whch Guys Make Great Mates now gives you some samples to check out. It has been really well received so I encourage you to go take a look.... HERE

Technorati tags: love, flirt, flirting, compatibility, cheating, monogamy, soul mate, divorce, about men, Is he the one, affair, relationship advice, will he marry me, romance

The "Magic-S" Pose

2006-09-05T16:33:00.002-07:00

Why a post about a pageant entrant who only came third anyhow? Because the photo is such a great example of the "magic-S" that works so well for models everywhere (and Paris Hilton!!). Here it is a fairly lazy S - but it works well for her. Just a quick reminder to practice the pose and up your attraction-appeal so that you can get the guys to start strutting their stuff. (Better sharpen your selector tools as well!!)

Pageant phase earns Casey top national finish

Author: David Williard, Source: W&M News

Date: Sep 02, 2006

.... Responding to pageant judges who asked her to describe herself in five years, Casey said, “a former Miss Teen USA 2006, successful model, premiering in my first movie and just completing my business degree from the College of William and Mary.”....

....Overall, she found the pageant experience rewarding, even though she ad to come to terms with stereotypes that arise when young girls are walking around in high heels and bikinis, she said. She learned to ignore labels such as “ditzy” and “catty” as she concentrated on opportunities that were opened to her. .... more HERE

PS If you want to know more about the "magic-S" pose its all covered in "Top Ten Tips For Getting Maximum Attraction"

technorati tags: love, flirt, flirting, cheating, monogamy, soul mate, divorce, about men, cheating husband, Is he the one, affair, relationship advice, will he marry me,
romance

Then There are the Beta Guys....

2006-09-05T16:33:00.001-07:00

I enjoy this story and thought I would sgare it with you all. Its a story about a male in the wild, BUT, it rings a bell doesn't it!

Animal Attraction By Virginia Morell

Males will do whatever it takes to win the mating game: sing, dance, fight a rival, build a house, give a gift. But in the end, it's usually the females who do the choosing. ....

Now a male can do little more than watch and wait. If he's built a good bower, then he'll succeed in life's ultimate contest and win the top prize: a female who chooses him as a mate. .....

"That's really what it comes down to," says Gerry Borgia, an evolutionary biologist who has studied the mating behaviors of bowerbirds for 23 years. "So you wonder sometimes when you see poorly built bowers," he says, pointing to one in disarray. "You want to say to the guy: 'Hey! This is about your reproductive success! Get moving! Straighten those straws! Find some more bones! Why be a C student?' "....

"You watch enough and... you begin to get a feel for why the female chooses one male and not another," he explains. "It's my guess that this guy isn't going to do well. I mean, that's pathetic," he says, waving his hand at the bird's puny pile of vertebrae. "And the thing is, he took over this site from an older male who died, but who had a great bower with lots of bones. And they're still here! This new guy just hasn't made the effort to move them to his bower." ... more HERE

Here's the cold hard truth about nature. No female will feel sorry for this guy. No female will feel hard enough up to mate with him either. In nature, the beta male does not get to mate!! He does not get selected. Its that simple! Cruel? No way. That's how the species survives! Only the best genes get past on. Please tell me if you can think of any good reason for us human female to defy this rule!!

Fashion Tips For The Coming Seasons - Direct From Milan

2006-09-04T16:18:00.000-07:00

Nude, natural, nuetral! Are you game?

technorati tags: love, flirt, flirting, cheating, monogamy, soul mate, divorce, about men, cheating husband, Is he the one, affair, relationship advice, will he marry me,
romance

How To Tell Which Guys Make Great Mates

2006-09-04T16:17:00.001-07:00

Now lets be clear what this means. I am not talking about which guys might be great to have an affair with, or might be great to have a quick one night you-know-what with. I am talking about the guys that will actually deliver what is needed for a long term relationship. A guy you can add to your family or - if that sucks - make a whole new workable family unit with.

A lot of women think that you pick these guys out by relying on "chemistry". But, as you have seen in this blog already, there are problems with that. Not least of which is that there are guys like the following - who know all about "chemistry" and how to manipulate it to his advantage.

Style - After (left) and Before (right)

Generating attraction is not just about looks - but it is clear from heaps of research that some things about how a guy look matter a lot. A weak chin is not attractive and whilst baldness may not be on every woman's must-have's, research also shows a clear link between baldness and aggression. So if you are short and puny, and thinning on top - baldness is a good choice. And that is what Mystery - a famous Canadian PUA - recommended that the guy in this picture (Style) do.

Makes a difference, doesn't it?

Now don't get me wrong. I am all for guys improving their game. Any guy that can go from wimp to "oh man" is demonstrating some worthy skills. But this guy is a great example because there are clear clues in everything he does that his mating strategy is not going to be what most women are seeking.

He has charm a-plenty. But that is not the same as having what it takes to make a great mate! Steve Irwin he's not!

In a later post will be a video of Style so you can see him in action. Even in this video - if you know what to look for - you can spot his mating strategy (its not what he says it is!). But you will also see his charm and why he has been so successful with women (he was voted the number 1 PUA in the Thundercat's Top Ten PUA's list for 2005).

technorati tags: love, flirt, flirting, compatibility, cheating, monogamy, soul mate, divorce, about men, cheating husband, Is he the one, affair, relationship advice, will he marry me,
romance

Tribute to a Truly Great Man

2006-09-04T00:34:00.000-07:00

While it is necessary to have some clear guidelines to help work out which guys make great mates there are men that are so clearly made of the good stuff that anyone can tell that they are the real deal - or can we?

Steve Irwin was one such man. One of my personal heros, Steve had an abundance of "tells" that showed he was great mate material. Surprisingly, he was not particularly successful with women and it wasn't till he met Terry when he was 28 that he finally got snapped up. So... not good at picking great mates are we? (Steve Irwin is photographed - as he so often was- with his American wife of 14 years,Terri.)

Close friend explains the circumstances of Steve's death Monday, 4 September 2006

John Stainton, good friend and producer of Steve Irwin's Film Company, Best Picture, held a press conference earlier today outlining the circumstances of Steve's untimely death and the events that surrounded it.

A very emotional Mr. Stainton said that he had lost a very dear and close friend.

"Today the world has lost a great wildlife icon, a passionate conservationist and one of the proudest Dad's on the planet. He died doing what he loved best, he left this world in a happy and peaceful state of mind, he would've said 'crocs rule'," he said.

We have lost one of the good ones.

technorati tags: Steve Irwin, love, flirt, flirting, monogamy, Crocodile Hunter, soul mate, naturals, about men, Is he the one, relationship advice, will he marry me, romance

Celebrity Smell - Can It Help !

2006-09-03T00:45:00.000-07:00

If attractive people "smell" good (as some research has shown) and we can get some of that smell on us....Does that mean we can seem attractive too?

Maybe that explains the incredible boom in celebrity fragrances shown in this article:-

Fragrance market is flooded with celebrity scents By JOELLE DIDERICH, THE ASSOCIATED PRESS, Friday, August 18, 200

PARIS -- A skin-deep brush with fame is now just a spritz away.

You can douse yourself with eau de Britney, Paris or J. Lo, as stars jump on the lucrative fragrance bandwagon by creating their signature scent.

With even romance novelist Danielle Steel and shock-rocker Marilyn Manson brewing their own concoctions, celebrity fragrances are the fastest-growing segment of the $2.9 billion perfume market ..

Offerings in the pipeline include scents from actress Hilary Swank, New York Yankees shortstop Derek Jeter, teen queen Hilary Duff and singer Mariah Carey........... More HERE

Maybe the only question is: who should we smell like?

If you're a guy there is another question: can you pull it off? Because any woman worth her salt will be bothered if your smell does not match up with your actions or looks! So unless you can act like The Rock, probably better to pick another fragrance!

Do women respond to smell? You bet! It is something that we women may not really be aware of, but research in recent years has come up with some pretty incredible results (there will be more on this in future posts).

technorati tags: love, flirt, flirting, compatibility, cheating, monogamy, soul mate, divorce, about men, cheating husband, Is he the one, affair, relationship advice, will he marry me,
romance

Can You Trust Those Instincts?

2006-09-01T04:09:00.000-07:00

Yes! - and, er.. NO!

Stats are just against us on this one. Relationships fail way too often for us to be able to claim that instincts, feelings, "the stars" or any other thing that has been followed to date, can be relied on to guide us toward a successful relationship.

All the same, research like those reported in the following news item do make it clear that we do have good instincts. Its just that there are some very good (and easy to understand) reasons why they why those instincts lead us wrong.

Check it out:

Things you can tell in a heartbeat
August 31, 2006
BY SAVANNAH ASHOUR of TANGO MAGAZINE

We can absorb as many as 10,000 nonverbal cues in less than a minute and can form impressions in as little as one-fortieth of a second with an accuracy rate of 80%. Here are six things you really can tell in a heartbeat:

The nose knows

Pheromones, nature's sniffable love potion No. 9, provide us with important information about compatibility. Though aftershave or cologne can mask a man's pheromones, a recent study showed that people tend to pick perfumes similar to their body's natural odor. So if you like a man's cologne, it could be a sign that you're compatible -- at least biologically.....

.... More HERE

The real casualty, when so many relationships end in disaster, is women's confidence that relationships can work. More and more we accept that relationships are likely to end sooner rather than later. But the real problem is that we just don't have good guides to help us select the right guys in the first place. With good guides our success at getting great relationships can be total!

technorati tags: love, flirt, flirting, compatibility, cheating, monogamy, soul mate, divorce, about men, cheating husband, Is he the one, affair, relationship advice, will he marry me,
romance

Do you love him? No - you only want him for his "genes"!

2006-08-30T06:14:00.000-07:00

Is it the 'stars', is it 'chemistry' or is it after all, just plain animal attracton?

What causes physical attraction?
Fertility perceptions, facial symmetry may play roles in mate selection
Helina Meri, Cavalier Daily Staff Writer

Dave Werner - THE CAVALIER DAILY

What is it that attracts people to each other? For centuries, it has been food for thought for writers, singers and poets. In more recent years, the answer increasingly has become fodder for another field: science.

The theory of evolution says our bodies have evolved to maximize our ability to survive and procreate. Though our brains afford us much free will concerning the way we behave, evolutionary psychology suggests that certain behavioral tendencies - such as attraction - are hardwired.

For example, qualities that indicate fertility in the opposite sex may translate into attractiveness.

"We are not consciously picking fertile people," he said. "We are consciously picking people who we think are attractive. The question then is why do we find them attractive?" .... read more HERE

This article goes on to discuss the role of face shape in attraction. But the whole matter of attraction does not stop there.

Did you know that females can tell an attractive guy by smell? Or - put another way - when the sweat of guys that have been rated as attractive are given to other women to rate according to whether they like the smell or not, it turns out that the "attractive guys" are also the ones that smell good!!

But here's the rub! This is only the case when we are fertile! They smell great when we are fertile and only then. The rest of the time we prefer the smell of the less attractive guys. And to complicate things even more - women who are on the pill have a completely different response to those women who are not on the pill.

So... can we leave it up to nature?

technorati tags: love, flirt, flirting, cheating, monogamy, soul mate, divorce, about men, cheating husband, Is he the one, affair, relationship advice, will he marry me,
romance

Does he Love You? - Wrong Question!

2006-08-30T01:16:00.000-07:00

As Liza ann Donna find out in this great video clip -

Of course the right question is: Will he make a great mate?!!

technorati tags: love, flirt, flirting, seduction, monogamy, liza minnelli, Donna Summer, soul mate, naturals, about men, cheating husband, Is he the one, affair, relationship advice, will he marry me,
romance

If You Keep On Doing The Same Thing Don't Be Surprised When You Get The Same Results.

2006-08-29T04:11:00.000-07:00

Here is the thing. When you read the results from Glamour's "faithfulness survey" you will see answers that are comfortingly familiar. We've heard the same things before. We feel we understand - even if we don't like. The numbers may vary, but the basic story has a familiar ring.

But as you read through the results consider this: if the explanations given here are so right, then how come we all get it so wrong? If these are genuine insights into why men cheat, then how come its still going on?

The fact is that there is some pretty important information that's left out. And its left out because the people who interpret the surveys just don't have a clue.

Check this article out and see whther there is anything there that gives you any information that would work to help you to avoid being cheated on!

The faithfulness survey

GLAMOUR asked more than 100 men if they had ever been tempted to stray, and a whopping 91 percent said yes; 51 percent of those guys went on to cheat.

Why did they do it?

Twenty-seven percent said she was irresistibly attractive.

Seventeen percent said "I was flattered that she found me attractive."

Twenty-eight percent gave their own reason,ranging from "She cheated on me, so it seemed fair," to "I was drunk at the time," and "I was about to end my relationship, so it wasn’t really cheating, I figured."

Fifteen percent were unhappy in their relationship.

Thirteen percent did it because they knew they could get away with it

Why did the other 49 percent stay faithful?

Thirty-three percent said "I truly love my partner and I made a commitment."

Eighteen percent said they couldn’t live with the guilt.

Fourteen percent felt flirting itself was exciting enough.

Twelve percent were afraid of getting caught.

Twenty-three percent gave other reasons: "Sex is sex. If you have a good sexual partner, you don’t need it elsewhere," said one. Another said, "It's not worth the hurt it would cause. How good could the sex be?" .... more HERE

technorati tags: love, flirt, flirting, seduction, monogamy, sex appeal, attraction, soul mate, naturals, about men, cheating husband, Is he the one, affair, relationship advice, will he marry me,
romance

Good Looking, Charming, Rich and Famous. Isn't That Enough?

2006-08-28T11:40:00.000-07:00

Is he Dumb - as many people are suggesting? Does he have problems - also being suggested? Is Matt LeBlanc simply a guy that can't be trusted (as a husband)? Or does his good looks, charm and fame make him a good catch regardless? Well - apparently not! Consider the following news items:-

Matt LeBlanc's Unfriendly Defamation Suit
by Gina Serpe
Aug 28, 2006, 9:05 AM PT

Matt LeBlanc's tabloid tell-all may have told more than it should have.

The former Friends star has been sued for defamation by a stripper who claims LeBlanc made false statements about her sexual aggression and the duo's level of intimacy in a National Enquirer story published in August 2005.

In January of this year, just four months after the story hit the newsstands, the star separated from his wife of nearly three years, Melissa McKnight. The duo, who have one child together, filed for divorce in March. More HERE

In another media response, The Daly Blabber comments:

You can't be in a good place if you're getting sued by a stripper.

This year Matt LeBlanc has lost a wife and a TV show. Now, he's being sued by an exotic dancer, who took exception to an interview he gave about her last year in which he called her "sexually aggressive."

Yes, I'm serious.....

Matt doesn't have to worry about ticking off his wife anymore – they split earlier this year. He is currently dating his former Joey costar, Andrea Anders, who he hooked up with before his split was announced. They were recently seen running together LA's Runyon Canyon.

Wonder if this is going to also work against him in his divorce from his wife, Melissa. Word has it, the divorce has not been finalized. This may cost him a couple more mil! .... more HERE

Would You Date Matt LeBlanc?

technorati tags: love, flirt, flirting, seduction, monogamy, What Makes a Husband
, Matt LeBlanc, soul mate, naturals, about men, cheating husband, Is he the one, affair, relationship advice, will he marry me,
romance

Check Your Sex Appeal

2006-08-27T01:56:00.000-07:00

The article posted below probably won't be telling you anything new. If you smoke, chances are you do know that you stink, that you will age faster and that you will ruin your good looks and health.

But here is something you may not know. Guys will sleep with you anyway (you know that) but they may not see you as a good choice as a mate or mother (poor health, not able to resist temptation).

This last may be a lot more important than you - as a female - may ever appreciate. One of the really strong concerns expressed by men in their discussion forums is their concerns around their girlfriend or wife cheating on them!! I mean - seriously.

See what I mean? It may not be what you want to hear but there is not much point in finding out how to tell which guys make great mates if we don't attract lots of guys. And according to a recent news item, that is exactly what can happen.....

Damage To Sex Appeal

"As well as bad breath, gum disease and tooth loss, smoking increases likelihood of facial wrinkling (by three times), makes skin less elastic and excess toxins in the body caused by smoking have been highlighted as a possible cause of cellulite.

Dr Bav Shergill from the British Skin Foundation said:

"Giving up smoking is the cheapest and best way to improve skin quality and vitality. Many of us spend a small fortune on moisturisers and make-up to make sure we look our best. Smoking completely undermines such efforts it gives a sallow complexion, adds years to your face and degrades collagen, making skin less elastic ..." more HERE

Disagree? Have different experiences? Let us hear it.

Don't Ever Believe a Guy that Tells You Women Have to Work at Keeping Attraction!

2006-08-26T14:41:00.000-07:00

How's this for a great look?

technorati tags: love, flirt, flirting, seduction, monogamy, soul mate, naturals, about men, cheating husband, Is he the one, affair, relationship advice, will he marry me,
romance

Longest marriage in Hollywood?

2006-08-24T16:49:00.000-07:00

According to CNN's Connie Chung, Phoebe Cates marriage to Kevin Kline is one of the longest in Hollywood.

Phoebe married Oscar-winning actor Kevin Kline in 1989 - more that 16 years ago. That's pretty impressive in a city known for its affairs and marriage break-ups. When a marriage works in a place where others mostly fail, its worth taking a look to see why.

AskMen.com has this to say...

"...we admire her decision, in these days of the ubiquitous working mother, to put her career on hold in order to raise a family. ..

Though in showbiz all her life, Phoebe's main claim to fame has come from her work in seminal 1980s movies, like the teen comedy Fast Times at Ridgemont High and the classic horror-comedy Gremlins. "

Of course, it is a bad mistake to ask men such questions. One thing I discovered from reading the men that contribute to the seduction forums is that whilst that can work out how to get results they can rarely come up with an explanation of women's behavior that makes sense! (You'll see some amusing examples in later posts)

What we can say is that Phoebe picked one of the good guy! Was it luck? Or did she know what to look for?

technorati tags: love, flirt, flirting, seduction, monogamy, Phoebe Cates, Kevin Kline, soul mate, naturals, about men, cheating husband, Is he the one, affair, relationship advice, will he marry me,
romance

Can We Learn From "Naturals"?

2006-08-22T16:12:00.000-07:00

Naturals are those women who can attract men easily. Paris Hilton is a "natural". They naturally can do the flirty actions that gets and keeps a man's attention (and wishes!)

Over the last three years I have been finding out about how men in the seduction field think and act. And I found out that there is a lot that we can learn from them.

For example, several of the top PUA's in the USA got that way by studying "naturals". On one PUA forum a "natural" is defined by one well known PUA as:

"Natural" ... means the guy gained competence in the game through direct experiences, without actually "being taught" how to game. A natura still knows what he's doing at all times, and he may or may not depend on familiar material, but he sure as hell has a structure he understands and utilizes well. Most naturals have it all internalized, though, and not consciously thinking of every move."

None the wiser? To be honest, the discussion on this forum is often like this. It can be quite hard to follow. Guys talk about all this stuff in great depth and they practice A LOT!

Authors, David DeAngelo and Neil Straus - who have both written highly successful books for men on the subject of getting and keeping attraction - both deliberately set out to learn from "naturals". They found men who were highly successful with women and got to know them intimately. They also studied them in action, interviewed them or got coached by them.

Both succeeded in developing the skills of seduction and have since become wealthy on their knowledge - as well as highly successful with women. DeAngelo at one time had multiple long term relationships ( called MLTRs in "the seduction community" - ie long term relationships with several women at the same time) and Dr Strangelove (my "pet" term for Straus) was ranked No 1 PUA in the USA for 2005.

So can we learn from naturals?

Well, if a a short, skinny bald guy (Strangelove) can become successful by studying naturals.....

Then there is the proof and the answer.

We can watch what they (the women who are naturals) do and then try it out for ourselves. We can ask them what they do and see whether that works for us. We can do workshops and we can read books. And we can talk to other women who are keen to learn and share our experiences - the successes and failures.

But there is a catch!

Naturals don't always understand what they are doing. In fact, they rarely do! That's why its often the people who learn from them (Like deAngelo and Strangelove) who make all the money. Because they had to "interpret" and "apply" what the naturals were doing. And then they were in posession of some pretty special knowledge!!

No wonder they got rich!

There is another catch.

Once you get guys seeking you out, you have to be able to tell which are the good guys and which are the wrong guys!

technorati tags: love, flirt, flirting, seduction, monogamy, soul mate, naturals, about men, cheating husband, Is he the one, affair, relationship advice, will he marry me,
romance

Flirting With Success

2006-08-22T13:39:00.000-07:00

I've just finished putting together a "how to" on flirting (for women - sorry guys). Because it is fresh in my mind - and anyway a subject I am very interested in - I decided to do a blog about it. So I went looking for some interesting stuff on the internet.

Well, I am sorry to say, there is an awful lot of trash out there on this subject. Consider the following advice I found on one site (better than most):

"Flirting Tips for Women :

Men are notoriously bad at interpreting signals from women. Know what you want when you flirt and make sure your signals are clear and that they convey what you mean. It’s not fair to flirt with someone for the fun of it – unless they are obviously flirty themselves. Flirting for fun is fine when you know someone a little better. If you genuinely want to meet people then by all means flirt, just make sure you know how to separate the sexual flirting signals from the 'hi, I'm friendly' flirting signals......"

This is just so full of BS. What else can you call it?

Number 1: "Men are bad at.... " Research just does not back this bald statement up. In fact the research I have been using for my project (by a somewhat famous lady who has been studying flirting for over twenty years now) reveals that when women use the right flirt actions men will respond (approach) within 15 seconds!

Number 2: "Its not fair to flirt with someone for fun."

Is she kidding?

There are so many good reasons for flirting it is just plain rediculous to make this statement. It is just plain irrelevant, anyway. Most of the flirt actions women use to get men interested they don't even know they are using! So how can that be unfair? Better to know what you are doing, I say, then you can get even better at it. Want to know how? Read more HERE.

Remember the hair toss-trick Cameron Diaz used in Charlie's Angels? The above pic shows this one simple flirt trick in action. One study I read showed that men will respond to this 100% of the time and within 15 seconds!

If you want to know other flirt tricks that get this kind of attention, then look out for future blogs.

technorati tags: love, flirt, flirting, cheating, monogamy, soul mate, divorce, about men, cheating husband, Is he the one, affair, relationship advice, will he marry me,
romance

Another Myth about Men is being Sold to a Gullible Public

2006-08-16T13:22:00.000-07:00

Here it is again: "Men are not meant for marriage." In other versions its: men can't be faithful; or, men are meant to have lots of sex partners ... You know the debates. And it generates a lot of hype. People get all excited and angry or upset about it - which is understandable because there is a lot riding on this issue for just about everyone.

The problem is that none of it is all right. And equally, none of it is all wrong!! Because it turns out that some men are hard-wired for marriage, some of those men are hard-wired for monogamous marriage and some men (like our friend in the following news item) are hard-wired to avoid marriage ( although research suggests that most of these men are more likely to conceal this fact from women!)

And then there are a whole other group of men (quite a large group, I suspect) who are just plain poor mate-quality material (though few are as willing to admit it as Guy Blews does in the following interview) but still want all the good things that go with marriage - regular sex, for one thing!

Men Can Never Be Faithful
By AMANDA CABLE 00:06am 15th August 2006

"...he leant forward, took her hand and asked 'Do you ever want to get married and have children?' her heart must have been fluttering with anticipation.

She was brought down to earth with a crash.

'Because if you do, I'm not the man for you,' Blews added quickly. 'I don't want commitment, and I don't ever want to be a dad.'

He flashed a charming smile. 'I won't change, so it is up to you if we have a future.'

The young lady in question finished her dinner in haste, made her excuses and left.

.....Blews has written a fiercely provocative book in which he claims men don't make lifelong partners and are programmed to have affairs.

We need to be honest,' he says. 'Life changes and so do relationships. Couples should get together accepting that they will enjoy the moment, but knowing that their relationship is subject to change." .... more HERE

But Blews does have one thing right. We women do need to be honest and get up to scratch with finding out how we can tell the different mating styles for ourselves. Because the Blews approach (tell all women that "I will never change and that I will never settle down") is also used by some guys as a seduction strategy!

One thing is for sure - whether he is using a seduction strategy (and 'going public' is a sure sign, by the way that this is the truth behind his fiction!), or he really is the 'poor quality' mate he so honestly claims himslef to be, it is a woman's JOB to be able to recognise what mating strategy a guy is hard-wired to follow. And most of us don't have a clue!

technorati tags:love, cheating, monogamy, soul mate, divorce, about men, cheating husband, Is he the one, affair, relationship advice, will he marry me, romance

The "Are You Compatible" QUIZ from Cosmo

2006-08-12T23:10:00.000-07:00

QUIZ

Is this a love that will last or merely a lust that will pass?

Find out how compatible you and your partner really are to determine your relationship prospects.

Click HERE to do Quiz - still being built (but keep an eye out for finished quiz - should be soon)

technorati tags: love, cheating, monogamy, soul mate, divorce, about men, compatible, cheating husband, Is he the one, affair, relationship advice, will he marry me,
romance

Are You Hot or Not?

2006-08-12T14:31:00.000-07:00

It really does not matter how attractive you are – if you have the wrong pose, then guys will be scared off! I have watched guys react with “argh” when presented with a photo like the following:-

But with “ooh” when
presented with:-

Same woman, different pose!

Having viewed thousands of photos from “hot or not” to find out which ones get rated as an 8 or more, we discovered that there are ten “must do’s” that will guarantee a top- hottie rating - EVEN if the gal is an older woman, EVEN if she is not that attractive and EVEN if the gal is a MAN – well, transvestite (as one 9.6 rated photo was!)

One of these “Must do’s” is to NEVER do a close-up, full-front face shot. (ie, hold- camera-out-front-and-click!)

Paris Hilton has these poses off to a fine art (though, unless you know what she is doing, you may well fluff it if you try to copy her.)

More Paris poses HERE

What really surprised me when doing this research was how many women submitted a photo that they had not prepared for. The “love me as I am” approach.

Maybe this comes from the real confusion there is about who does the selecting. Because with all the attention that women pay to their appearance, and all the fuss guys make over an attractive woman, it sure does LOOK as if its guys that do the choosing.

But that’s not it at all. Looking good stimulates men to start their “display” so that they will GET selected!

technorati tags:love, cheating, monogamy, soul mate, divorce, about men, cheating husband, Is he the one, affair, relationship advice, will he marry me,
romance

Celebrity Boyfriend Stealers

2006-08-06T21:47:00.000-07:00

Boyfriend stealers - is this a problem that many women face?

According to one research study - yes!

In that study (of university students) about 60% of males and 30% of females try to "steal" someone elses girlfriend or boyfriend and succeed 30% of the time!

Nicole Richie Is A Boyfriend Stealer!

This catchy headline did not get it right - but... notice how the attention was on the 'boyfriend stealer' rather than the possible 'cheat'?

Julia Roberts was a much publicised boyfriend (well husband!) stealer when she took up with Danny Moder.

And his wife, Vera was not forgiving about it and angrily made it clear:

“But I am past being upset. Danny broke my heart in two. OK, I don’t blame him — I blame Julia. She ensnared him from the start. She stole my man and she couldn’t give a ****.”

and..

"I will never be able to forgive Julia, she's a husband stealer."

Boyfriend stealers do get people very upset. Check out the following Q & A chat that I came accross whilst surfing the net!

Choose my friend, or choose my friend's boyfriend? What do I do?

"I have a problem.I love my friend's boyfriend and I think he love me too but my friend don't know about my relation.Both of them are very good to me.I am confused that I should choose my friend or him.What should I do?..."

One Reply:

"You really need to question who is more important to you. Your friend, or her boyfriend? How would you feel if your friend wanted your boyfriend? In the end, it's up to you. No one likes boyfriend stealers///"

Other replies were:

"...Friends do not do that to friends. If you are prepared to date your friend's boyfriend then be prepared to lose a good friend. But be aware..this guy can't be trusted...."

and

"...You are not a good friend either. You cannot be trusted not to be selfish. You scheme behind their back...."

This is an emotional issue - and for good reason. But it IS possible to avoid ever having to worry about boyfriend (or girlfriend) stealers. For women, its mainly a case of knowing which guys are the faithful kind (you know the drill - better read the book!).

For guys its a bit more involved. But knowing how to "mate guard" is part of it.(Also in the book, need I say!). This is a whole area of mating that is rarely talked about (though Tyler Durden - a top PUA - is developing some material on this) Will maybe do a post about TD at a later date. In fact - the guy is fascination so - that's a promise! (PS The term PUA is explained in the post on Aug 22.)

technorati tags: love, flirt, flirting, seduction, monogamy, Nicole Richie, Julia Roberts, soul mate, naturals, about men, cheating husband, Is he the one, affair, relationship advice, will he marry me,
romance

Why Are Men Such Dogs? Or - An Introduction to the Art Of Mating?

2006-08-03T22:40:00.000-07:00

Use a dog to snag a date? No! Err, maybe

The TORONTO STAR

Aug. 3, 2006. 01:00 AM

ALISON GRIFFITHS

ART OF THE PET

Type the subject, "dogs that attract women" into an Internet search engine and the result is an astonishing array of information about females and pheromones. The hits range from scholarly to pornographic with the most common thread being some variation of: Why Do Some Women Keep Attracting Men Who are Dogs?

Switch sexes and the pheromones come out in full force again, as well as articles with titles along the lines of: Why Are Men Such Dogs?

CLAUDIA CRUISE PHOTO

Cute factor wins. Topping the date magnet meter is Sassy, a Bichon Frise who can melt hearts with ease.

But for anyone genuinely interested in the utility of the canine as a dating tool or a four-legged icebreaker — there's an absolute dearth of material. I hereby volunteer to fill the dating-with-dogs void. My qualifications are impeccable: dog owner\trainer\clipper\anal gland squeezer\sometime breeder, dog sitter\walker-at-large and twice married (both times to dog lovers).

As the Star's relationship challenge has shown over the past months, expertise of any sort can be a sexy thing, especially if it is an area that is culturally au courant such as food, wine or theatah. But most of us aren't experts in anything particularly interesting. We're just everyday drones who may know a thing or two about postal rates, T-shirt folding techniques, actuarial tables or gum disease.

This is where dogs come in! With a pooch in tow you needn't worry about the brilliance of your particular area of know-how. The dog, if it's the right one, does the ground breaking, offering up plenty of conversational gambits and making you seem interesting by association.

Of course, no one would be so wanting of humanity as to acquire a dog solely for the purpose of attracting a date. Then again ... more HERE

Interesting that this article appeared in a newspaper in Toronto - the home of Mystery (who you will find out more about in later blogs) who perhaps can be blamed for such topics appearing in an ordinary newspaper! Pheromones, attraction, dogs and women seeking to find guys to date? Its all there.

technorati tags:love, cheating, monogamy, soul mate, divorce, about men, cheating husband, Is he the one, affair, relationship advice, will he marry me,
romance

Selection Secrets

Meet one of the men that are changing the way men mate throughout the western world

How To Get a Guy To Notice You - Its Easy When You Know How!

Why find out Which Guys Make great Mates?

Would You prefer The €20 or €50 Rejection?

Romance ends when the Terminator Comes Calling

Can You Be Deceived?

okay.. ... Any imput on how to tell if a guy is lying to you?

How Attractive do You think you are?

How Seriously Should We Take Heartbreak?

Do We Need To Find Out What Guys Want?

".....What Makes a Man Fall in Love?

Getting It Right?

Working Out Your Compatibility

Is He The Real Deal - Or Not?

Finally, Love Potions That Work?

Research Is Giving Us A New Edge!

Now You Can See What Its All About

The "Magic-S" Pose

Pageant phase earns Casey top national finish

Then There are the Beta Guys....

Fashion Tips For The Coming Seasons - Direct From Milan

How To Tell Which Guys Make Great Mates

Tribute to a Truly Great Man

Close friend explains the circumstances of Steve's death Monday, 4 September 2006

Celebrity Smell - Can It Help !

Can You Trust Those Instincts?

Things you can tell in a heartbeat August 31, 2006BY SAVANNAH ASHOUR of TANGO MAGAZINE

Do you love him? No - you only want him for his "genes"!

Does he Love You? - Wrong Question!

If You Keep On Doing The Same Thing Don't Be Surprised When You Get The Same Results.

Good Looking, Charming, Rich and Famous. Isn't That Enough?

Check Your Sex Appeal

Don't Ever Believe a Guy that Tells You Women Have to Work at Keeping Attraction!

Longest marriage in Hollywood?

Can We Learn From "Naturals"?

Flirting With Success

Another Myth about Men is being Sold to a Gullible Public

The "Are You Compatible" QUIZ from Cosmo

Are You Hot or Not?

Celebrity Boyfriend Stealers

Why Are Men Such Dogs? Or - An Introduction to the Art Of Mating?

Things you can tell in a heartbeat
August 31, 2006
BY SAVANNAH ASHOUR of TANGO MAGAZINE